January 2, 1984
Cottage on Baidam Lake, Near Pokhara, Nepal

I sat down on the ground with a good view of the lake Baidam and the Himals.  Here I sat for the sunset and pondered the mysteries of the Universe.

The mountains seemed to have a soul of their own, so I wondered if they were not being as I was.  Who was superior?  They had pushed themselves up through geologic time to gain ascendancy over the lowlands and lower mountains of the world.  But I have eyes, I can move!  Yet who is to say that they are not cognizant in some way unknown to me?  They see the sunrise first and the last of the setting sun.  They stand staunch for millions of year, unmovable, but I am come and gone in a flit.

Suddenly, I caught a glimpse of the eternity of space and matter; rather than feel shut off by my short time here, I felt close to the Universe, I felt part of eternity.  In the recesses of my mind, a knowledge submerged now expanded into my consciousness for a revelating moment.  It seemed staggering and yet so very natural. It seemed that I had always known the Universe.

Now I hesitate to deny the truth of my revelations however ludicrous they appear, because the feeling was so strong, and it seemed clear, as if God had filled my mind, and I saw as God saw.  My imagination was free to run unhindered.  I reflected that one of my goals was to live one of the most imaginably exalted lifetimes in existence.  I wanted to live a billion such lifetimes, and I considered that this could be one of them. I reflected that maybe all of my goals were taking place in different parts of the universe simultaneously.  Maybe I was living other lifetimes right now, maybe I was a rock contemplating for a million years.  Maybe I was riding on a comet.  But because my desire was to live a human life, I, as my human self, could not have human knowledge of other existences. Just because I was unaware did not negate the existence of an expanded self!

Truly, when I had asked myself before the end of the year what would I achieve if I could transcend time and space, I was reaching beyond myself, beyond my own life and powers as a human, envisioning events that I will never experience as a human.  However, in that moment, I broke a barrier of perception, by imagining that greater than myself, I caught a glimpse of reality greater than myself, transcended my humanness.  Once the possibility was envisioned, it stunned my human mind into a sort of remembrance, and suddenly, my imaginings seemed a certainty, a reality!  I knew a larger Universe than my human recollections would allow.  It seemed I had returned to a state of natural realization that had floated around my earliest consciousness as a child.  The possibility of other realities (greater, much greater, than my human existence) perceived with the same spirit that I call “ME” seemed ridiculous to be termed “possibilities,” for they were a greater certainty than my own human existence!

My imagination exploded.  I thought of Be ing.  I looked at the range of hills in the foreground of Annapurna, now black silhouettes against the pink snow of the distant mountains in the sunset.  Another “ridiculous question.”  If I could be a segment of the hills in the range or to be the entire range, what would I choose?  Could I be the Annapurnas?  If I could be everything, would this not be more to my pleasing than to be part of it only?  But, thought I, I would only like to be the good things.  Then I reflected that all things are good.  Maybe we consider actions as being bad or good, but objects themselves are good.  My conclusion was that I would like to be everything in the Universe—the Universe itself!!!

Now I made a declaration that I cannot explain the “logic” of.  I tried to reconcile that if I was the Universe, what was my physical body?  What was, then, the purpose of my life?  I thought:  the purpose of my life is to see myself.  By this I do not mean physical self, for as many say, this is only a vehicle.  When I say “myself,” I mean the Universe, for I am that, I am the Universe, and by Universe, I mean everything that is! (Even if my normally conscious mind can’t see it, it can accept that it is there.)  I, as the Universe, am thus employing my body to see itself in a new way.